Update,,,

Its been a while since i've written a blog so I have plenty to say. (Lengthy post)

I did my 11 mile walk for Diabetes Uk Sunday just gone (4th July). It went really well to be honest. Made me really realise who my true friends are though. A few months before the walk there was 13 of us planning to take part, weeks before the walk this dropped to 5, then on the day another person dropped out a hour and half before we were meeting up. I'm not overly annoyed though, the 4 of us had a laugh and it made me realise who really cares. Anyway, the walk. We started at ASDA, we all stood there in our Diabetes Uk t-shirts, getting looks from all around waiting to start. My dad took a photo of us outside the supermarket, gave us the usual "take lots of water etc" lecture and off we went. The first part of the walk was definitely the easiest, theres only about a mile and half between ASDA and Tesco. We arrived at Tesco and my parents were waiting, took another photo, dished out water and we set off again. We headed for Sainsburys, this leg of the walk was a bit longer, but we laughed and joked along the way. Again my parents met us for pictures and water, they'd decorated the car with DUK balloons so that we could find them at each supermarket. After Sainsburys we had the hardest part of the walk, the final leg.. Sainsburys to Morrisons. Not only was this part the longest, we also were walking down a A road, so we got all the sand whip from the passing cars and the sun was directly above us. But we didn't let this defeat us! We continued and tried to laugh and joke still. My boyfriends scottish and was shocked I didnt know what a thistle was, so he was amused when I caught my hand on one as we passed. (OUCH!). When Morrisons was is sight we all got rather excited and were tempted to run. When we arrived It felt great! My mum and dad stood there and dished out the "walk the extra mile" medals from DUK and took our final photo. We were VERY pleased with our time of 2hours45 as none of us had done any training. Very proud :).

The next bit..
Been feeling abit down in the dumps recently. The ignorance/lack of awareness has been getting to me because except when i'm talking to other diabetics online I feel quite alone. My friends try to understand but it isn't easy for them without having the condition itself. I'm not slating any illness here, just using examples, but if you asked someone what Cancer was, chances are they could tell you. You ask someone what diabetes is, you either get "i dunno" or "you cant eat sugar". We CAN eat sugar!! I just feel there's very little people know and it makes them ignorant. I may have said this before, but it's almost like people think you eat, inject and youre fine. They dont realise all the grey areas too.. The blood monitoring, the anger/upset from random highs and lows you cant explain, making sure you have all your gadgets before you leave the house, the maths test every time you eat, the feeling of being "abnormal", the days you just want to give it all up... amongst others. I often long to be able to leave the house with nothing but my phone and keys! Maybe i'm just being mardy, i dunno. I just feel like im in the dark alot, i feel if i admit to struggling that im weak.

Im also a little disappointed at my Diabetes team. I was supposed to see them back in May, but they were "too busy and I wasnt a priority patient". Well i was told id get an appointment in June, i rang to book my appointment and was told my DSN had resigned so I'd have to wait untill August. I questioned the length of time between May and August and was told "We're down on DSN's and its not fair to give all Jenny Claytons appointments to the others" (Jenny was my DSN)... Well what are they there for then? If their job title is "Diabetic Specialist Nurse" surely it doesnt matter who their patients are, as long as theyre doabetic? Makes me mad. Poor staff, having to take on someone elses patients, dont we all feel sorry for them! (Excuse the sarcasm).

And finally...
I really want a pump, it'd help my quality of life and definitely help my control. But i've been told that the chances are slim. I have to have a poor Hba1c for a long period of time before they'd even contact the PCT. Surely that goes against them trying to help my control? I'll argue my case again in August with whoever I end up seeing. Makes me mad that so much funding goes into people who've deliberatly harmed themself, but not for diabetics. All the money that gets spent on recovering alcoholics, people in prison "finding their good self" etc. but there's very little funding for diabetics to recieve pumps, make their life better. We didn't cause our diabetes, yet we have to suffer. I cause ranting isnt really going to help.

I think i'm done for now.