Motivation...or lack of!

Hmm, so.. I'm 18 years old, going back to college in September after a years gap..and I have type 1 diabetes.

A lot of questions have been running through my mind about diabetes recently. The care we recieve (or lack of in some cases). The unfair lack of funding for diabetics. The ignorance.. I could go on for ages. But the big thing for me at the moment is motivation. I'm quite a negative person unfortunatly, which makes things even worse!

So what do I mean?
Well, here's a daily scenario for me;

Wake up, think to myself "today i'm going to look after my diabetes properly", test my blood sugars, do all the usual dressed/wash etc, put on the kettle, (here's where i go wrong)...Skip breakfast, do housework... Lunch time...uhm and arr over what to wat for a while... eat...forget to inject..remember to inject..forget what carbs i ate...give up for the rest of the day. (in the sense of lack of testing and accurate carb counting, not all together)

I've tried keeping diaries etc, but they work for a few days and then it all goes out the window again!
I'm perfectly capable of carb counting efficiantly, but why dont i? I'm perfectly capable of testing my blood sugar, but why dont i?

I don't think im lazy, im not doing it because i "can't be bothered".. I just lack to motivation to continue when I hit a bump.

3 years of type 1 diabetes and it just gets harder.
Maybe it's my teenage stubborness (i hope so!)..but why cant i just do as im told?

Blegh!